Can everyone just stop with the Kate conspiracies?
Our take on what has been a bizarre royal week
“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you…” wrote Rudyard Kipling and never has his poem been more relevant. Coincidentally, we took a Royal List outing to the author’s house Bateman’s, in East Sussex, on Mother’s Day, which was prescient, as by the time we returned to our homes, the world had melted down over the Princess of Wales’ happy family snap.
What Catherine presumably hoped would appease the conspiracy theorists, ended up making things much worse. We’re not sure how we got here, but Kerry penned an opinion piece for The Sunday Telegraph this week, which expresses how she feels about the chaos. Here’s an extract:
“I can exclusively reveal where Kate is… she’s on a round-the-world scavenger hunt looking for all the marbles everyone has lost. And possibly a new PR chief. Last I heard, she checked into a hotel in None-of-your-Businessville.
It’s not a case of what is wrong with Kate, it’s what is wrong with everyone else, that we feel we have a right to know? Whatever her illness is and whatever the cause, she is not obliged to share it with us, royalty or not. And as for Picture-Gate, well, where do I even begin? Despite it being something everyone does on social media, the manipulated Mother’s Day photo was a serious mis-step, which made the debacle worse. ‘That will shut people up, when they see how well Catherine’s looking,’ palace aides must have thought. But her team should have thought a bit harder before releasing that photo, because she looked too good to be true, it turned out. Picture agencies promptly killed the image and a spokesperson for Agence France-Presse (AFP) compared Kensington Palace to North Korea. Blimey.
A contrite Catherine posted on X, ‘Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused.’
It’s a PR disaster for the palace, says crisis communications expert Kerry Parkin of Sway, who suggests the late Queen’s trusted strategy of silence no longer works. ‘Operating in a vacuum is not helping. While everyone is entitled to privacy, when you don’t speak, others will,’ she says.
It even became a segment on The Late Show, with Stephen Colbert mocking the pair and discussing tabloid rumours alleging William was having an affair. ‘Oh no, my heart goes out to poor Kate,’ he said, for laughs. Hilarious.
I put this collective hysteria down to the fact the Royal Family is the last remaining ‘out of reach’ celebrities. Gone are the supermodels, Hollywood actors and even reality stars, thanks to the democratisation of social media.
‘It’s beyond unfortunate that the photograph released in the hope of quelling ridiculous conspiracy theories backfired in such a spectacular way,’ says Joe Little, Managing Editor of Majesty magazine. ‘As a consequence, the ongoing debate about the veracity of information and images provided by the palaces has got much louder.’
Ironically, most of Catherine’s critics will have been retouching their own photos for years, but presumably that’s permitted. However, with AI images threatening to spin us into a world where we literally don’t believe our eyes, it’s time to get real – all of us.”
Camilla is more than Kenough
On a lighter note, the Windsor trooper that is Queen Camilla gave us one of our favourite moments, this week, when she was presented with her own Barbie, during a reception at Buckingham Palace for International Women’s Day. Dressed in the same outfit she was wearing that day – an Amanda Wakeley cape and Fiona Clare frock – she quipped, “Brilliant. You’ve taken about 50 years off my life, I’m very, very grateful!” The doll was given by the Women of the World Foundation (WOW), of which she is President, and a rep from Mattel. Also there that evening, were Helen Mirren, Kelly Holmes and Mel B.
Meghan’s the Duchess of Domesticity
After months of rumours, Meghan’s finally launching a luxury lifestyle brand called American Riviera Orchard, set to coincide with a new Netflix cookery show.
On Thursday, a new website and Instagram page went live, (sign up to the waiting list, here), with the Insta bio stating: “By Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. Established 2024.” Meghan’s first Insta Story shows her arranging flowers, baking in a kitchen and posing in a doorway in a ballgown, all set to Nancy Wilson’s song, I Wish You Love. So far, so soft focus.
But with laser-sharp intent, a trademark application filed on February 2 reveals the brand plans to sell “tableware, drinkware including decanters, kitchen linens and edible treats such as jellies, jams, marmalade and spreads.” The application is also seeking approval for cookbooks. American Riviera Orchard is likely a nod to the Santa Barbara County where Montecito is located. The county is known as the “American Riviera”.
Just hours after the launch, the Mail’s Richard Eden was told by an insider that Meghan “will start filming new cookery show in a few weeks time” to coincide with the launch of American Riviera Orchard. Another source told Eden: “Meghan will be making, and selling, products such as jams. And at some point there will be a book and blog etc.” Well, watch out Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow, there’s a new lifestyle guru in town.
William and Harry reunite for Diana
Well, almost but not quite. It was the Diana Legacy Awards on Thursday evening, a charity very close to both William and Harry’s hearts. While the Prince of Wales presented the awards at London’s Science Museum, Harry’s video call happened after his brother had left and the ceremony was officially over.
In his speech, William said his mother taught him that “everyone has the potential to give something back”. The Diana Legacy Award celebrates young people’s social action and humanitarian work. “This evening’s Legacy Award is particularly special as it marks the 25th anniversary year of The Diana Award, a charity set up to reflect my mother’s belief that young people can change the world.”
Meanwhile, with the winners safely back at their hotel, Harry gave his video chat thanking them for “protecting my mother’s legacy, I really appreciate that”.
According to PR experts and news reports, the Palace probably did not appreciate Meghan’s big lifestyle venture news released just two hours before William arrived at the event in memory of his and Harry’s mum. That same evening, Harry and Meghan also announced the winner of their own NAACP – Archewell Foundation Digital Civil Rights Award. All in all, it was quite a night for royal news.
Happy Birthday, Eugenie!
Princess Eugenie celebrates her 34th birthday this Saturday. The mum-of-two will no doubt be making memories with sons August, 3, and ten-month-old Ernest, plus husband Jack Brooksbank. This week, Eugenie shared a new initiative by the charity she co-founded, The Anti-Slavery Collective, and cousin Zara Tindall made an appearance.