The royals go from Middle Earth to South Park
The Wales’ went on a Lord of the Rings tour, while the Sussexes appeared on the satirical show…
It’s been an unexpected week for royal news - William and Catherine took a tour of Middle Earth, then Harry and Meghan relocated to South Park. Kerry wrote an opinion piece about it for The Sunday Telegraph this week. Here’s an extract:
Perhaps Prince William made a wish when he saw that ring in The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power TV studios. As Gandalf said, “The Ring has awoken, it’s heard its master’s call.” When the Wales’ took a secret tour of the studios in Ascot, near Windsor and met the cast of the Amazon series, William would never have dreamed the ring would wreak its revenge across the world, not in Mordor, but California, in the South Park studios.
On Wednesday, a new episode dropped of the long-running satirical series, called The Worldwide Privacy Tour, lampooning Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. We have to say, it’s brutal. In it, the “Prince of Canada and his wife” go on a world tour brandishing placards reading, “We Want Our Privacy”.
They promote the prince’s new book, called Waaagh and appear on Good Morning Canada, where the wife character says she told him to write the book because, “your family are like stupid and so are journalists.” When the host says, “So you hate journalists? And now you wrote a book that reports on the lives of the Royal Family? So you’re a journalist,” they storm off.
They move to South Park, opposite Kyle’s house, where they park their private jet, hang banners demanding privacy, hold loud parties, play polo and in one scene, the prince even shows his blue bits. They then visit a branding agency, where their files read, “Sorority girl, actress, influencer, victim,” and “Royal prince, millionaire, world traveller, victim.” Double ouch.
Eventually, the prince sees the light. “Trying to make ourselves into a brand just turned us into products,” he says. “No more magazines and Netflix shows, we can just live a normal life!” His wife remains silent.
Considering Harry revealed on their Netflix documentary that he reads the press about himself, we can assume he’ll watch it. And while creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are renowned for taking down celebrities, sometimes it hits home. When South Park depicted Russell Crowe in a TV show titled Fightin’ Around the World, the Gladiator-star had a humble reaction. “I think that they are very, very funny men,” he told 60 Minutes, adding he learnt from it. “I did think the whole thing was a fight, I did think my whole career was a struggle,” he said.
As to what Harry and Meghan think, as Galadriel said, “Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” Although she wasn’t talking about Kyle, Cartman and co., it still rings true.
Camilla crowns off her Covid-hit week
It’s been a bit of a week for Camilla – from one corona crisis to successfully swerving another. The Queen Consort tested positive for Covid-19, and the following day news broke she will wear Queen Mary’s Coronation crown this May, which will not feature the controversial Koh-i-Noor diamond.
On Monday, Buckingham Palace said: “After suffering the symptoms of a cold, Her Majesty the Queen Consort has tested positive…” the statement continued, “With regret, she has therefore cancelled all her public engagements for the week and sends her sincere apologies to those who had been due to attend them.” The fully-vaccinated royal also caught the virus in Feb 2022, and is reported to be feeling much better.
The news she has chosen to wear the 1911 Coronation crown of King Charles’s great-grandmother (King George V’s consort) is welcome. By being the first consort to reuse a crown since 1727, Camilla has avoided a diplomatic hot potato - or should that be dodgy diamond - and, mindful of the cost-of-living crisis, there will be no splurging out on a new one. The Palace said the decision was made “in the interests of sustainability and efficiency”. It is, however, being reset with the Cullinan III, IV and V diamonds (the late Queen liked wearing them as brooches), plus four of the crown’s eight detachable arches will be removed.
In other Coronation news: Hugo Burnand will be the official photographer. He’s already a royal fave having taken the wedding snaps of Charles and Camilla in 2005 and William and Catherine in 2011. Charles’s sacred Coronation robes have been revealed, see the symbolic garments here and the part all of them will play in the centuries-old ceremony. Finally, raise a coronation toast on the big day with a new pink gin from the Royal Collection Trust. Made with raspberries grown at Windsor Castle, buy a bottle of Royal Windsor Gin here.
Charles offers solace and support
Like the rest of the world, we were shocked by the death toll (upwards of 41,000 and rising) and devastation caused by the Turkey-Syria earthquakes and moved by the rescue efforts to help survivors. Likewise, the Royal Family, and on Tuesday the King visited relief projects across London.
First stop was Hounslow, where Charles met the West London Turkish Volunteers packing supplies, such as blankets, children’s clothing and food. He then formally opened Syria's House, a temporary community tent in London’s Trafalgar Square for Syrians who have lost people as a result of the earthquakes. The King listened to grieving families and was keen to know if enough assistance was arriving from the UK.
Charles also met Sue Inglish, Chair of the Board of the Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) who said: “He’s extraordinarily generous and supportive and is always interested to know how the work is going on the ground.” Only a week before, DEC had thanked the King and the Queen Consort for their “generous donation”. The charity organisation has so far raised £88 million, you can donate here.
Anne visits cyclone-ravaged New Zealand
Princess Anne found herself in the middle of a natural disaster when she visited New Zealand this week. The nation has been ravaged by Cyclone Gabrielle and a national state of emergency declared. Thousands of Kiwis were also rocked by a 6.3 magnitude earthquake on Wednesday.
The Princess Royal, accompanied by husband Tim Laurence, met emergency responders and said, “My thoughts are with all New Zealanders whose homes or livelihoods have been affected by Cyclone Gabrielle. I admire the courage of the people of Aotearoa during this alarming and difficult time. You should all be proud of the resilience, strength and care for your communities you are showing in the face of adversity.” She added, “Kia Kaha,” meaning, “Stay strong” in Māori.
She was met with strong support in Christchurch, when she visited on Friday, to mark the centenary of the Royal New Zealand Corps of Signals, of which she is Colonel in Chief. “I wanted to come because of the way [Princess Anne] looked after her mother when she died,” well-wisher Douglas Shaw said. “She does a great job and she’s one of the hardest working members of the Royal Family,” he told Radio New Zealand
Acting queen Helen Mirren at the Baftas
Dame Helen Mirren, who won a BAFTA and an Oscar for her portrayal of Queen Elizabeth in the 2006 film, The Queen, will pay homage to the late monarch at tonight’s EE BAFTA Film Awards attended by its President, Prince William and Catherine, Princess of Wales.
Dame Helen met the Queen on many occasions, saying she was always “dazzled” by her presence and we were no less dazzled last year while watching the actor entertaining Her Majesty at A Gallop Through History on 15 May 2022. Dressed as Elizabeth I, she was part of the televised event celebrating the Platinum Jubilee. It was certainly a night to remember, not least for the Queen’s smiles and laughter - and we have a feeling tonight’s tribute will be equally emotional and memorable.